Somewhere 2 Hide

Bored

2011-03-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Dont know why I even bother to post on here but im bored. I came to the library to watch videos and with my bum luck I get a computer that the sound doesnt work on, *sigh*. I could have took my butt on back home. Since Im here anyway I'm trying to find something to do. Dont really know what to say here anymore. I guess thats it for now.

still trying

2010-10-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

still haven't been able to get back into this blogging thing. a quick run down.

stressed from work

hospital bills

not enough money

*sigh*

Still not well

2010-08-31T19:16:00.000-07:00

well, its been another one of those days. I haven't felt too good most of the day. I've had a headache on and off all day. At work I just felt..not good. Like I had no strength or energy and I felt dizzy. I dont know what it is. I will be glad when I feel back to normal again. After work I went to get some money orders and a few other things. Came home and took a nap. Played a video game for awhile. Took a bubble bath, ate dinner and washed dishes...not in that order tho. :) Other than that just been watching tv, talking on the phone to Paul and messing around on the computer. Hopefully tomorrow will be alot better. I took two tylenol hoping it will help with my headache. I finally finished reading "The Worst Case", By: James Patterson. Its a good book. Hopefully I can get to take it back tomorrow.

Strange Feelings

2010-08-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling sorta strange. My nerves are all over the place. Work was ok today and when I first got home I was fine. It wasn't until I woke up from my nap that things started going down hill. Everyone seems to be getting on my nerves. So I thought maybe I'd watch a netflix movie. Maybe it would take my mind off of things and help me to relax and feel better. Instead I ended up feeling all weird and creeped out afterward. I usually wait and watch movies with my brother when he gets home from work but lately I've been falling asleep during the movies from being so tired and sleepy so I thought maybe that was another good reason to watch the movie early. I dont know what my problem is but...I dont know I dont like it. Im trying to resist the urge to go stuff my face. I've been thinking that I need to stop with eating all the junk food but there always seems to be a reason to eat. I dont even like to look at myself in the mirror. Its not so bad when im fully clothes but looking at myself without anything on..I really dont like it. Makes it hard for me to see how anyone else could stomach looking at me. Anyway, enough with the sad song and dance. I gotta find away to get rid of this uneasy feeling. Any suggestions?

Baby Steps

2010-08-30T04:24:00.000-07:00

well, here I am again. Taking baby steps here. I had a good weekend. I didnt do much which is good, I needed rest, on top of that I was broke. Thankfully my brother helped me out with drinks and snacks. I did some cleaning, caught up on tapes, look thru most of my mags, well, scracth that, I threw most of them away cuz they were things I didnt want to look at and they were just sitting there, so i looked thru all the ones I liked and then threw them away. I watched a movie called "The Reeds", which was weird. I fell asleep the first time I tryed to watch it, so I had to go back and watch the parts I missed. I only have 4 days to work this week, yay! So hopefully this week will go by fast. wish me luck.

Miss me?

2010-08-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

well its been awhile..i thought id try this thing called blogging again. i'll try to write more next time.

The Storm warning By: Billy Graham

2010-06-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

This book was sent to me for free by "Booksneeze.com". Heres my review:
This book is an amazing read. It tells all about how the many problems that the world today is facing and how it relates to the word of the bible. It also tells about the things that are to come in the future. Billy Graham also tells all about his difficult and challenging experiences. And he also goes on to tell what God says, as in his word, the answers to the problems we are facing in todays world. Also he talks about politics and the problems that go along with that. The chapter called "Inside the apocalypse, stood out to me, and the way he talks about the book of "Revelations". He uses the word of God to point out key points and help people to understand Gods plan in how we should live and how living by God word will help things to become better in this world. And also gives a strong warning that we should all be preparing ourselves, family and loved ones for Gods coming. When we are facing storms the one we should turn to is our heavenly father. I think so many people loose site of the word of God and its meaning and how it should be used in our lives.

New Blog

2009-11-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

I started a new blog. Got some time? Please drop by and check it out. Thanks! :)

http://myobsessing.blogspot.com/

bad nerves

2009-11-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

My nerves are so bad right now

times like this I just want to scream

tear a hole in something

go somewhere alone

I hate feeling like a crazy person

Feeling Blue

2009-11-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

today has been really frustrating...

so frustrating that I cant even find the words..

yet I feel the need to write something..

and im coming up with nothing..

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought I'd pop in to say "Happy Halloween" to everyone. Im sitting here in my red wig drink ice tea. Why do I have on a red wig? Well, I'm a red head for halloween. Im not gonna be giving out candy but I bought a bag of kitkats for myself. And I bought some Orville Redenbauchers Popcorn with Movie Theater butter so me and my brother are gonna watch Horror movies tonight. And I think im gonna play Michael Jacksons "Thriller" and call my cellphone so I can hear my Michael Myers "Halloween Theme" ring tone. I haven't gotten to hear it much this month cuz I rarely get calls on my cell. So..yeah nothing to exciting going on this way but I just wanted to do something to celebrate with myself. Since theres nothing else I can do. I'd love to go to the movies, but I dont think I'll be able to go back again until my birthday which is the 25th of next month. One day I'd like to go to a Halloween party or a Haunted House.

Fridays Shoot-Out: Strange and Amusing Signs

2009-08-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

well its been a long hard week, and Im exhausted so I dont have many pics this time..sigh..Im glad the weekend is finally here. My feet hurt so bad!

3rd day down hill

2009-08-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

This has been a tiring week already. We have one person at work that just comes when she feels like it. And I just dont understand why nothing is been done about it. Everytime she stays out thats more work on me. My hands hurt and my feet hot and by the time I get home, Im hot, sticky, worn out and in a bad mood. I woke up this morning with a headache from a allergy hangover. So I already wasnt feeling good and then I have to deal with the fact that the same person is out for the 3rd time this week..just great! Yesterday I went to the library after work to take some books back. I ended up checking out four more. "Crank", "Burned", "Glass" and "Identical, all by: Ellen Hopkins. I love her style of writing. Right now Im reading "Crank". I got a movie from netflix today called "Blindness", I hope its a good one.

Friday's Shoot-Out: Relaxation

2009-08-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

One way that I love to relax is to listen to music. I dont know what id do without my cd player. I take it everywhere.

Another great way I love to relax is to sleep. What better way to sleep than against some comfy pillows. Gotta love that!

And reading has always been one of my favorite ways to relax. One of my favorite places to go this summer has been the library.

And last but certainly not least..the best way to relax after a long hard day of working in the heat. Coming home and soaking in a tub full of refreshing water.

Fridays Shoot-Out: Power

2009-08-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

A beautiful sunset can be very powerful I think. It can bring back memories..or be the began of something memorable, it can inspire.

I think that looks powerful, dont you?

And what can be more powerful than lightening?

This here is where we get our power from...I think...they sure charge us, I know that.

Back to the start

2009-08-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah so today was the first day the kids came back to school..so it starts all over again. I cut my finger...ouch. Been listening to this audio book...and reading this really cool book..I accidently took a nap but it was good. Washed dishes early..been enjoying my bubble baths and drinking too many cokes. so...maybe some poetry?

what would I

who would I be

without the starless sky to shine apon me

darker than the night, the slumber slept

as the moon sang softly and the clouds wept

behind me lay a smile that fell

so saddened at the fairwell

for what shall I

who shall I

seek to follow me to my protective bubble

that surrounds me in my time of trouble

be careful that you do not bring

no heartless, cruel nor hateful thing

then you should be invited no more

beyond the safety of my door

so could I

would I

should I be

the sunlight in somebodys life

someones loving, caring wife

the steps that leads to somebodys heart

the inspiration of ones beautiful art

so I can

I will

I must believe

these stars that shine, they do yet breathe

the air that brushes apon my face

the darkness, the light does erase

I shall fastened to what runs deep

holds true and firm, still so steep

for I would be nothing without his love

that shines down on me from the reflection

of the stars and the moon and the sun above

that he flung so beautifully in the sky

for you and I

Starting Over

2009-08-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday was my first day back to work. Had to go in and set everything back up. But only one other person besides me showed up. The boss lady said she couldn't get in touch with the other two. I dont even know what to say about that but somehow it was better with those two not there cuz they are the ones who keep up the drama and slow around and pretend to be working, so I guess it was a good thing. While I was over that way I made a trip to the atm machine, got some money orders and went back home.

Yesterday I made a trip to the library. Anyway, I got two books and and audio book. "Impulse", By: Ellen Hopkins, which I am really enjoying, Nightmares and Dreamscapes", By: Stephen King, and "Haunted", By: PC Cast & Kristin Cast. The ones Im currently reading are on my side bar if you wanna take a look and the last one I finished.

I dont have any plans today..just try to enjoy the day as much as possible I guess.

Danger

2009-08-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

Its dangerous to get to close

back away please I warned you

just one dose

is never enough, its true

back against the wall, trouble closing in

no emergency break to stop the speed

to helpless to defend

unless you stop, do not proceed

I beg you, its not safe

Move away, before its too late

Firdays Shoot-Out: Outdoor Foods

2009-07-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

I love food..maybe a bit too much. And when I think of out door foods, I always think of a cook out. And you can have a cook out with out a good burger. And I love me some bbq ribs!

And you gotta have some hot dogs..I know a hot dog was in the first picture but at that time the burger was having its time in the spot light..lol..ok. I thought this weeks assignment was cool.

Tears

2009-07-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been crying on and off today so..this poem is dedicated to those tears I cries.

I got issues
bring out the tissues
here comes the tears
pour out my fears
drain from my eyes
like water from the skies
feel all my pain
drip drop like rain
apon my cheek
my heart it weeps
from all the strain
feeling insane
conscious of it all
bracing myself for the fall

Giving up

2009-07-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Im sitting here feeling pretty worthless right now. Im trying to figure out how the supposedly simple things in my life always blow up into big issues. My brother called me from work, asked me to ask our dad if he could pick him up something from chic-fila for dinner because by the time he got off work the place would be closed. Well being the kind of person he is he didn't want to do it so he tells me he wants me to go in and get it. I told him no Im not going, my brother asked him to go. So my mom volunteers to go. She goes to get the food and on her way out she trips and falls, scraps her knee and her chin. Do you know that man comes home and blames me. Says its my fault that happened to her. Now how is that my fault? I'm really tired of everybody blaming everything on me. So my mom tells her mom (we call her granny) what happened. Then granny tells her that she needs to go to the emergency room. So..thats where she is right now. This right here, is why I never write in my journal anymore. I never have anything good to write about anymore. Seems like things are always happening to try to bring me down, and you know what..its working. I really am wondering why I even bother. So close to giving up. I dont know why Im even here. Would anybody care if tomorrow I just disappeared? And I know people are probably thinking, its nothing to get this worked up about but this is just one more thing on top of everything thats been going on the last two months and I really dont think I can take anymore. Im beginning to not want to even get up anymore. Whats the point? Im just about ready to give up.

Friday's Shoot-Out: Reflections

2009-07-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I dont want to look in the mirror
I dont want to see
My own reflection starring back at me
I dont want to look, just want to hide
and get away from the pain inside
I dont need to see, I dont wanna know
Just need to get out, I just want to go
Away from my reflection, away from these eyes
Away from the torn soul, drowned by your many lies
Cant trust these eyes, cant trust this face
Wishing I could be some other place
Gotta get away from the glare
away from the constant stare
So I cant look in the mirror
Because I dont want to see
My own reflection
Starring back at me

Fairy Tale

2009-07-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

I want to dream about the house with the white picket fence
That I'll share with my prince
who rode in on that white horse and saved me
isnt that how fairy tales say its suppose to be
but I stopped dreaming of that long ago
the more you live, the more you know
The things you thought you wanted, you dont anymore
dreams were broken, you closed the door
No more making wishes, they dont come true
Believe me, they never do
Not for me anyway
sad to say
But along those broken wishes and dreams
I still hope and pray no matter how hopeless it seems
Even tho there are no fairy tales, I still hope that there will be
Somewhere in life, a happily ever after for me

Why

2009-07-22T16:05:00.000-07:00

Why cant I be normal, why must it be so hard for me

why must I suffer and feel the way I feel

Why cant I just be happy, why cant I be

Why must my nightmares always seem so real

Why do I feel like Im going insane

Plugging my on Blog

2009-07-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've been posting alot in my most recently made blog. Noone seems to be reading..so Im not sure if people even know about it so I thought that maybe I'd put it out there. If you like to know about new tv shows, books and movies you should definately check it out.

http://letustalkabouttv.blogspot.com/

Worth It

2009-07-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

I just want to lay in the the water

let the cool waves wash over me

allowing me to forget everything

except what feels good, and right

just want to listen to the breeze

and feel it on my skin

allowing me to remember that its still worth it

to keep going, to hang on

begging me to see that its ok, to keep waiting

because one day I'll finally see

what all the waiting was for

and hopefully I will be able to say

It was worth it

Fridays Shoot-Out: Yard Objects

2009-07-16T22:46:00.001-07:00

I liked this assigment alot because I always love to see yard objects, decorations or oranments on people lawns or in their yard. I wish I could have stuff like this in our yard but I wouldn't dare leave anything worth taking in my yard because someone would only steal it. So..I have to live vicariously thru other peoples decorations. This is only regular stuff, people go all out for the holidays. Sometimes the amount of stuff you see in peoples yards, seems like they are competing with the folks next door. Anyway...here ya go.

Fridays Shoot-Out: Textures

2009-07-11T01:05:00.000-07:00

Im a little late cuz I got stuck playing this game but..yeah

Wrap me inside your cloth

bind my body with silk

Just let the texture spread

and blend with my skin

soft, smooth and sexy like satin

Like tying a bow around you

and presenting yourself as a gift

Hurts

2009-07-08T18:11:00.000-07:00

It hurts deep inside to have this weak skin

that breaks at the slightest touch within

any kind of push or struggle tears away

at the core and makes it hard to make it thru the day

wondering when you'll ever be normal inside

not constantly wanting to hide from the world

like a scared little girl

hiding under the bed from a monsterous demon

that leaves you panting and screaming

on the edge of anxiety, deep in fight

making it difficult to sleep thru the night

but it hurts and it burns and its draining me

why, does it have to be

Better Late than never right?

2009-07-04T23:23:00.000-07:00

Well I know Im late but thought I'd drop in to say I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. I didn't do much today. Played a game, watched a movie, read a book..thats about it, lol. I watched the movie "Pulse", its the third time ive seen it but I hadnt watched it in awhile. Since I didn't get a movie from netflix because of the holiday, I watched that.

Friday's Shoot Out-Celebrate Life

2009-07-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, here in Macon, GA we celebrate the Cherry Blossoms. Aren't they pretty!

They have a all week thing down town, celebrating, doing different things, like games, concerts, food, drinks, they even give out icecream, but I never get the chance to go get any cuz Im always at work at the time and they stop giving away icecream at 12 I think..or is it 1, heck I dont know but I never get any. At the end of the week they have a street party.

We also celebrate the Georgia State Fair.

With all the wind from the rides its always so much colder at night.

On the last day of the street party they have fire works at night.

Tomorrow being the 4th of July Im sure there will be lots of fireworks. I sometimes like to watch them at home, I can see them from my house.

Some people like to celebrate by wearing funny looking hats. I dont but some people do.

And whats a celebration without a few balloons.

And ice cream

And cake too! Im not sure how I'll be celebrating tomorrow of if I even will. Not sure what celebrating means to me anymore really...but these are some of the things I feel celebrating must be like. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July.

Needed

2009-07-02T17:40:00.000-07:00

So..as you know or may not know, I dont really have any friends here and noone to really talk to. If theres anyone out there who wouldn't mind chatting with me thru emails sometimes let me know. My email address is: Z7Snowflake@aol.com I need someone to talk to.

Tink Tuesday

2009-06-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

Lastnight I finished reading "You've been warned", By: James Patterson. It is a really good book, very hard to put down. I got up early this morning because I had to go to the store. I didn't want to be out walking when it got too hot and I know it gets hot really early and the later it gets the hotter it is. So I went out and got my money orders, stamps, some snacks, cashed my check, hit the atm machine, got a coke and came back home. Got my bills out to be mailed, tithes put away, and insurance money..ugh..paid my mom what I owed her. I think thats everything for now. Snowflake was getting on my nerves this morning, she kept waking me up. After chasing her thru the kitchen I went in my room and closed the door to lock her out. When I got up at 9, and opened my door she was sitting outside the door waiting for me. I just dont understand that cat. Anyway, thought I'd drop in, type something. I think im gonna go read some more.

Friday's Shoot-Out: Colors of the Rainbow

2009-06-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, now I want some cake!

I cant help but smile everytime I look at this

Beautiful and colorful

Gotta love rainbows

I love stuffed animals and having shoes of every color would come in handy dont you think?

Colors of the rainbow, orange, pink, red, blue

Match the feelings that ring so true

Containing the things we hold inside

The colors shine thru so we cant hide

Look at the beauty thats so plain to see

All colors are beautiful to me

Would have to have shades to match the shoes

Would be cool for halloween right?

Stopping in...waving hello!

2009-06-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed I changed my background? Its pretty obvious. Just thought I'd asked. I also changed my books on the corner after I dont know how long. Monday I went to the library to take back those books from 2 weeks ago and I got two more. "You've been warned", By: James Patterson and "Odd Thomas" by: Dean Koontz. Im enjoying both of them. Those are the good things. Right now, Im pmsing, and I've been moody all week..not constantly but you know...mood swinging and all that jazz, lol. See how I just went from so so to silly..ok, I think you get it now, anyway..just thought I'd drop in..say hello to anyone who might happen to stop by my little space here. And if you should happen to pop in for whatever reason, you should stop in more often, you never know, you might like it. While your at it wave, or say hello...you might like that too. I know I would. But I'm pushing the time. I might be back later today...dont know, but I definately will be back tomorrow tho, to do that shoot out thingy. Have a nice day everyone.

Lost

2009-06-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

why cant I feel you here when I need you the most
feeling like Im loosing it and I need a friend
someone to talk to but noones around
trying hard to smile but all I can manage is a smile
not sure what to do or what to say
not sure if it would matter either way
all I know is that I want things to be better
I would like to be done with this stormy weather

Friday's Shoot-Out: Metal

2009-06-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

My first time at doing a Fridays Shoot-Out. I know mine is different than most entries but Im really into my writing at the moment so I just cant help myself. So, I have two different takes on the word "Metal". The first, a poem of a weird obsession with the love of metal. And 2nd is a short shory of someones hate for metal because of tragic events as a child.

Metal in my hand

The metal in my hand feels so good, cold

Like the ice in my mouth, very bold

So much heavier, smooth to touch

Didn't realize I'd love it so much

This obsession with metal things

No need for gold or diamond rings

I love how it shines, yes its true

I dont know what I should do

Except to seek out the object of my obsession

Until it becomes my posession

I really dont care that noone understands

My love for the metal in my hand

Metal Bars

When walking down the street one night, I froze dead in my tracks. Why was this happening to me. Why couldn't I ever escape this nightmare. There across the road were metal bars. Trying hard to control my breathing, I clutched at my throat. I couldn't have a panic attack here, not now. Gathering all the strength I could find I took off down the street, not sure what direction I was going because I could barely see. My eyes, blurred with the tears filling up and running over. I ran until my legs burned. Legs shaking, feeling as if they were going to crumble beneath me, I ran in to a brick wall. Looking up, I realized I had run into a apartment complex. My back against the brick wall, my body slid down slowly until I sat down hard on the ground. Eyes still glazed over, my mind flashes back to those years long ago as a child. My mother and father had divorced, and we were living with her new friend. When she was away at work, he'd lock me up in a room down stairs with metal bars. Trapped there all day until my mother was on her way home. He'd always ask her to call to let him know when she was on her way home. I knew he did this so he would have time to let me out. I tryed to tell her one night when he was asleep. My mom and I were cuddled on the sofa watching a movie. She didn't believe me. She yelled at me and made me go to bed early. What was worse was that she told him what I had said and he punished me for it. He had slapped me hard across the face and punched me in the stomach. I didn't get my food bowl that day, nor my water dish. Blinking my eyes and shaking my head, I force the memories from my thoughts. Most days its as if it never happened. I can almost forget that those horrible days even existed. Until Im rudely awakened by the site of metal bars and Im taken back to those achingly sick memories that I now realize will forever haunt me. I grab my purse that had slipped from my hand and dig inside until I feel my cell phone. Flipping it open, I dial my best friends number.

"Hello".

"Maria, I need you to come get me."

"Ok, where are you?"

"Pine Ridge Aparments".

"How'd you get over there?"

"I'll explain later, just please come get me before I freak out anymore than I already have."

"Ok, Im on my way."

"Maria, one more thing."

"Yeah, what is it."

"Do you best to avoid going down Clinton Road."

"Ok, but whats on Clinton Road?

"Metal bars."

If you enjoyed this short story check out my "Twisted Stories" journal. http://twisted-short-stories.blogspot.com/

Im Back

2009-06-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Im back! How long has it been? Hopefully not too long. Im finally coming out of my medicine haze. I had to take some medicine lastnight because my allergies started to act up. I went to bed earlier than usual for me. Apparently the meds hadn't worn off yet when I got up today. Thankfully I haven't been having much trouble with my allergies. I've been praying that for my allergies to go away. Its been helping and I rarely have to take any medicine anymore. I've been praying about my frequent bathroom visits too. Im gonna start drinking more water and go when I have to instead of holding it. Thats only making things worse. Oops, brb, bathroom. Ok, Im back. I was talking to Paul a little earlier and he was telling me that I should tell people about my experiences with God and my blessings. And I think he's right because even tho I do have problems. Things I wish could be better, things happen that I cant really change, there are also alot of good things that happens too. I have grown so tired of always complaining and writing about the negative things. I think that is the main reason why I fell out of love with blogging. Altho I do think I need to write about the negative because its like the best way for me to release the stress and tension, to get it all out. Writing has always been my way of release every since I knew how to write. If I wasnt writing I was drawing..or reading. Those are things that have always been apart of me. And I dont want to loose any of that. So Im going to try to focus on writing about the blessings in my life. There will be some negative from time to time..cant get around it but. I would hope that my life has more positives than negatives. But well see. Anyway, yesterday I went to the movies with my mom. We went to see "Drag me to Hell". It was a good movie. Before we went to the movies we went to the $1 store. I love that store. They had two of my favorite candies that I rarely see anywhere anymore. The fruit flavored tootsie rolls, and sixlets. I wasn't plan on spending as much as I did but its so easy to stack up alot of stuff in there. I dont think I would have picked up as much if I didnt have to stay in there as long. I made a mistake with the times and we got there like an hour and 1/2 too early so I was trying to pass the time in there, which was easily too do but also easy to loose money too. I got some freeze pops too, and of course I had to get some stationary, tuna, chicken salad and bubble bath. They had these 1 liter bottles of bubble bath for $1. Im almost out of the last bottle I bought from there so Im glad I got it. I got two. I didn't like the bus ride back cuz it was packed and so hot. I forgot my music cd on my bed so I had nothing to listen to. When I got home my feet hurt so bad. Actually, they are still bothering me. I keep thinking I should have got that foot spray to soothe ur feet when their swollen or achy, but I put up back. I'll get some next time but I wont be going back until I get paid again. Im trying to make my money strecth until then. The last time I went to the atm machine I basically spent all the money I got out on bills so I thought I would have been broke by now. Thank God for that. Surprisingly my dad has been paying me back the money he borrowed. So thats been great. I dont mind lending him money at all as long as he pays it back. Yesterday me and my mom walked over to chic-fila. You know I got mosquito bites on the back of my feet so when I walk in my shoes they itch bad. I didnt get anything from there even tho I love their chicken nuggets..im on a budget and Im trying to be good. Ugh...I gotta pee again. Back. Im listening to the audio book "Alone". Im on the 5th disc. Wednesday me and my brother watched the movie "Autopsy". Its one of those horrorfest movies. It was interesting. Ok..I think Im all typed out for now. Not sure when I'll write again but I'll be back.

Monday

2009-06-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

thought id pop in a try again at this thing called blogging. its so funny how it used to be something I loved to do. I mean I would think about all day at work about what I would write in it when I got home. but some how that passion i once had for blogging as dwindled. I hate it, but I have found my passion for writing stories again which I love. Anyway, I had a good weekend. I spent time with Paul, watched movies, read, played games, not much else. Today I went to the library and signed up for a library card. Haven't done that in so long. I checked out a book called "Beach Road", By: James Patterson and I got a audio book called "Alone", By: Lisa Gardener. I also went to family dollars and got some things. Flipflops, bubble bath, batteries...and a few other things. I caught the bus down there but walked back so I could get some excercize. I left early this morning and can you believe it was already hot around 10am? Crazy. I am not ready for the heat wave I just know were gonna have.

2nd Attempt

2009-05-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

Heres my second attempt at trying to make a normal entry. My weekend has been pretty nice, altho I haven't been doing much. But sometimes thats excatly what you need. Some straight up rest and relaxation. I've been playing games or trying to. I wanted so bad to play "The Legend of Crystal Valley" on my emachines game console, but I got stuck on a puzzle. My brother suggested that I go online and look up the walkthru for the game. So I did that and was able to finish the puzzle. But then I got stuck again at another part. Instead of trying to tough it out and figure it out on my own, I had the bright idea to log on and look at the walk thru again. Well, apparently the game didnt like that cuz it cut off on me and wouldn't play anymore. I was so pissed cuz its such a cool game and I hardly got anywhere on it. So I started to look up other game sites to see if maybe I could download the game from somewhere else. I found one..on big fish games, but do you know that they only have it as a demo so I still wasnt able to go anywhere on it. Sucks. Usually on Big Fish they at least let you play for 60 minutes before they cut you off but not this game. Im still unhappy about it. But what can you do. I also played "Cate West:The Velvet Keys" and Hidden in Time: Mirror, mirror", both for 60 minutes. I really hated for the Cat West game to end. It was so cool. Today I also played "Adventures of Robinson Crusoe" which is really cute. I was able to finish it on Emachines. Now Im currently loading "Spirit of Wandering-The Legend" on emachines and "Redrum" on Big Fish. Hmm, whatelse have I been doing? Reading...oh, last night me and Junior watched "My Bloody Valentine 3D". It was pretty good. I just wish more of it was in your face 3D. I may have jumped about 3 times, thinking something was coming at me. I talked to Paul for awhile on Friday. Talked to him um..three times yesterday. Why isn't there anything on tv anymore? I gotta stop eating so much. Ok, I think I said enough for today. If you have time stop in and read my story journal please!

Feeling weird about writing

2009-05-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well Im having a hard time coming up with anything to write anymore. But I want to try. it might take me some time to get back into it. It feels weird even now typing an entry. I feel sort of anxious. Its not a good feeling. A writing in here used to be one of my most favorite things to do. I went from writing in here every day, to every other day, to barely at all. I guess this is it for now. Gonna watch "Joy Ride 2".

A Writers Plea

2009-05-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. Im in need of a favor. Maybe you dont want to do me a favor, lol. If you dont, its ok. But if you'd like to help, it would really make me happy. So I will say pretty please with a strawberry on top. I put strawberry cuz I dont like cherries. Anywho, on to the favor. I have seriously lost my inspiration to write. Hence, the lack of recent entries. I have nothing exciting in my life to write about, besides the fact that Im in love...but who wants to read about lovie dovie stuff? Wouldn't want to bore anyone with that..and Im so tired of writing about my job. When I leave that place I would prefer to leave that all behind anyway. But what I really miss is writing my stories. I know most of you probably havent read my story journal, and if you have maybe you didnt like it..but um..where was I going with this. Crap...let me make this short..or um shorter. If you could go to my story journal and read the last storie..you dont have to read the whole thing but at least the last two chapters..and let me know what you think should happen next. I am so stuck on where to go next..and an idea or two on where I could go with it might help. Im really itching to end this story. Its already long enough as it is...but I dont want to just throw a lame ending together just to be done with it. I really love the story and Im proud of how far I was able to go with it but Im starting to feel like ive reached the end of the rope on this one. So any ideas? Someone...it would be nice. Im very close to just not finishing the thing..which I really dont want to leave another story unfinished. Im leaving the link to my story journal at the end of this entry. I really hope someone can give me at least one of two ideas to work with. This is truely life or death for this story because I have already started a new story that I am very excited about getting into. If I dont come up with something soon..this story might not be finished at all. Im already on chapter 3 on this other story so I really want this other story to end one way or another. Please help.

http://twisted-short-stories.blogspot.com/

Thoughts

2009-04-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

in the back of my mind, thoughts deep like the ocean
I try so hard not to drown in them
So I walk toward the puddles
Telling myself its ok if I get splashed
but as soon as the water hits I struggle
determined not to be angry
I move forward, reaching for the wall
that keeps the water at bay
feeling as if the dams about to burst
I jump much to soon
I try not to hate myself for falling
But still mad that Im still not patient enough to wait
behind the wall is still the wind that stirs the water
Causing the waves that frightens me
Down on my knees I realize much to late
That Im still dry

8 things

2009-04-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

So glad its the weekend. Took long enough to get here. Well...I saw this thing in a journal called "Delightfully Inappropiate" ..I wasnt tagged but wanted to do it anyway, so here goes.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. Talking to my b/f

2. Summer vacation

3. Seeing a good movie

4. Starting another good book

5. Sleeping in

6. Being lazy

7. New shows starting up

8. Playing a new game

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Watched webisodes

2. Went to work

3. Wrote a long letter

4. Read a good book

5. Tryed to play a game

6. Listened to music

7. Watched tv

8. Texted my brother while I was at work

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Sleep in every single day

2. Find a better job..one I actually liked and one that paid well

3. Not let the things ppl say and do bother me

4. Play an instrument

5. Paint

6. Have hot sexy dreams

7. Travel

8. Run away with Paul

8 Shows I Watch:

1. SuperNatural

2. Medium

3. Prison Break

4. Ghost Whisperer

5. House

6. Fringe

7. American Idol

8. Doll House

Working...and Coughing..and whatever else

2009-04-24T04:34:00.000-07:00

Well I had planned to do an entry yesterday but blogger was giving me trouble again so I just gave up. Im so glad today is friday. I really dont feel like going to work but I guess Im going anyway. Hopefully today wont be too bad. I just hate the sight of my boss cuz she has pissed me off so much this week. Im so tired and sleepy and I really need some rest. Last night it was storming...raining...thundering and lightening..ugh..I hate lightening. I can deal with all the rest, just skip the lightening part. I realized that Im not completely over my cold yet. Its been causing me to have a severe dry throat early in the morning and late at night and a very annoying dry cough during the day. Been coughing up cold this morning. Yuck. Guess I better cut this short. I have to go in 5 minutes. *Sigh* Wish me luck.

Ups & Downs

2009-04-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

My day at work sucked. So much so that i dont even want to talk about it. But my day has gotten better since I got home. I got my buzz kit in the mail today.

As you know Im a buzz agent..if you didnt, well now you know. The Newest campaigne is Max Factor 2000 Calorie Etreme Lash Plumper and Vivid Impact Lip color. I tryed it and I love it. The Lip color I tryed was "Ms. Right" and "Vegas, baby". My favorite is "Ms. Right". Red is my favorite color. It goes on smooth and easy and adds the right kinda kick I need to my look. And I absolutely love the 2000 Calorie lash plumper. It makes my lashes look longer, bolder and definately plump. it accents the eyes in a major way. I'd definately recommend this make up. Its one of a kind.

Also I got my Day 26 cd today and I love it. Their 2nd cd is even better than the first one. I also got a movie from Netflix today. Its called "Red Mist". I hope its good. I talked to my boyfriend and he helped me feel alot better. He drew me a picture and wrote the sweetest words on it. It really helped to brighten my day since I was down earlier today.

Better late than never

2009-04-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

Well I wanted to post something yesterday but blogger was being me and giving me a hard time trying to sign on so I just gave up. I had my little entry ready and everything. It wasnt much but I had written something..anyway. Im not ready to go to work today. I wanted to stay in bed so bad today. I hope my cd comes in the mail today. I thought it would have gotten here by now. I ordered it last Monday. Ok, Im gonna post want I was gonna post yesterday just so I dont feel like a waste of time typing it. Hmm..I need new tags...pictures of something.

Thankful no headaches, no pains, no allergies attacks...so far. Better not speak so much of it, wouldnt want to jinx myself. Today is only Tuesday yet I wish so much for friday already. All of a sudden my mouth is really dry..weird. Im at a loss for words. But I still try. Better luck tomorrow.

Pain in my head

2009-04-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well I was hoping I could get a real good entry in here today but once again, something is trying to hold me back. Ever since I got home from work I've had this horrible headache on the side of my head. Sucks. I did finish reading "Breaking Dawn" today and I stated reading "The Mile High Club". I took a nap when I came home from work, hoping it would help the pain in my head go away, but no such luck. Then I took two tylenol...still not helping...so I dont know. My "day 26" cd still hasnt come yet. Maybe tomorrow. So I guess thats it for now. Send me good vibes for my head pain.

In Recovery

2009-04-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

Its been a little while since I've wrote in here. Not sure if I was missed any but I've been sick. Between allergies, that time of the month and being sick with a cold and a very soar throat, I really didnt feel like writing altho I really wanted to. Im hoping this week I will be able to write more. But for now Im gonna end here because I feel a headache coming on.

Saturdays Events

2009-04-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went shopping at the dollar store (yes again) with my mom. And then me, my mom and my brother went to see a movie. We went to see "The Last House on the left". Me and my mom liked it but my brother didnt. Then last night me and my brother watched a Horrorfest movie from netflix called "Broken". Man that movie was so slow and boring and made no sense. And on top of it I was so sleepy cuz I had feel asleep waiting for my brother to finish watching a comedy show on tv that he said was only 30 minutes but it ended up being an hour. So when he woke me up I went to watch it with him but it was hard to stay awake when nothing was happening in the movie. I even went to the kitchen to get a coke to drink hoping it would help me stay awake. It did help a little but dang, as slow and borring that movie was I needed more than a cold coke. It was so slow and boring to the point that it was funny. I busted out laughing when that had the woman in the bathtub just sitting in there starring at the wall and then she put a cloth over her face and then they did a close up of her with her sitting there with the cloth on her face, it was too funny. I wonder how they can even write a script like that. There was hardly any dialog either. The main character in the movie was the woman who plays Sara Conner on the terminator tv show.

New Blog

2009-04-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

Im so glad today is Friday. Im so tired and sleepy. When I came home from work I slept for 3 hours. And Im still sleepy. I dont know if its from the lack of sleep or the medicine I took this morning. I made a new blog. I dont know why..just had an idea and thought Id try it out. I hope people will stop by to read. If not thats ok too. I think I'll go ahead and post some samples.

free sunglasses case
http://www.glassesreviews.com/freesample.htm

Glilette bodywash/shampoo
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/100751/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100751&source=

Axe body spray
http://www.complimentarycrap.com/craplist/cosmetic-free-stuff/axe.html

Here is my new blog

http://letustalkabouttv.blogspot.com/

Anyway, hopefully I'll have more to write about this weekend. If I have time. Until next time..

Samples and Stuff

2009-04-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

I'm adding these samples today cuz I forgot to yesterday..until I realized it was late so I put it off until today. I got a free book today and a free calendar and a bunch of magzines in the mail today. I also signed up for a new Buzz Campaigne. I took a nap earlier today but Im still tired and sleepy. Im watching "Medium" right now.

Free energy water
http://www.healthandenergywater.com/index.php/win

Free sample of Aquafresh tooth paste
https://www.aquafresh.com/FreeSample.promo?mn=cmVnaXN0cmF0aW9u

Free Eucerin lotion
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100696&source=

Free letter opener
http://mailfinity.net/letter-opener.html

Free Kotex sample
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100679&source=

Free headbands
http://www.vixswimwear.com/vip-signup.asp

Free axe body spray
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Free lip gloss
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John deere cap
http://www.nortrax.com/reman.aspx

Extra, extra..

2009-04-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday me and my mom went and ate breakfast at chic-fila. Then we went shopping at the dollar tree. Ok, I love the dollar tree. Really I do. I think I did good cuz I only spent $20 and some change on myself. Im waiting on my brother to get back home so we can watch this movie. He better get back soon or Im gonna kick his butt. I played this game today called "Lost Realm-Legacy of the sun princess" and Im almost finished watching tapes. I'm on page 180 of "Breaking Dawn". I guess I will work on some letters tomorrow. This is so wrong how fast this week has gone by. Now if I had been working it would have dragged on and on. Anyway, Ive enjoyed my time off. I'm glad Ive already washed all of my work clothes so I dont have that to worry about. Just plan to enjoy my last day of freedom as much as I can. Its sad how it feels like Im going back to prison or something. I need to go back to cutting back on what I eat. I know my last couple of weeks at work I had been stuffing my face like crazy cuz I was frustrated and it helps me feel better. I wish my emotions would affect my eating habits so much. But Im trying again starting Monday. Never give up right? Right.

Better late than never

2009-04-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

It rained all day yesterday and its been raining all day today so far. Yesterday I got a free tote bag and health journal in the mail. Me and Junior watched the movie "Mirrors". It was really good. I was sleepy mostly all day yesterday cuz my allergies started up as soon as I woke up and I had to take medicine. Now today they are starting up again and I dont know why cuz I havent been anywhere since tuesday and its been raining all day everyday since. I just took more medicine so I will probably be sleep again soon, and I just woke up not too long ago. Every game ive downloaded lately wont work. Its getting on my last nerve. Im beginning to wonder why I even bother. Maybe its time for me to take a break from it again. Its thundering outside too. It was lightening lastnight. I hope it doesnt do that today. I did end up taking a nap today, actually I slept for a really long time and Im still freakin sleepy. Makes no sense at all.

Sometimes

2009-03-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder, I forget and I wonder again

Where it all ends and where it all begins

Sometimes I think and I smile, and then I think some more

Sometimes I end up in pain on the floor

Sometimes I dream, I toss and I turn

While the fire deep inside me burns

Sometimes I hurt, I heal and I hurt one more time

Losing what I had when I lost what I find

Sometimes I make since, most of the time I dont

Some of my poems make sense, this one probably wont

A Haunting

2009-03-31T18:35:00.000-07:00

I went to the movies today to see "The Haunting in Conneticut". It was really good. Im finally getting "Mirrors" from netflix tomorrow. Sure took long enough. Afterwards we went to chic-fila to get dinner. Its been raining all day long and the wind has been blowing hard. For some reason Im extremely sleepy. My batteries in my cd player died. I had a feeling that they were gonna run out on me when I needed them the most. But my brother was nice enough to let me listen to his music with him.

Strange Feelings

2009-03-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

sometimes I feel so different inside
Theres noone I can tell, noone to confide
Noone here when I need to talk or need a friend
What happens when I hurt, will anyone be there in the end
It hurts sometimes to feel so strange
Possibly sick, some what deranged
But theres nothing you can say, nothing to do
Sometimes I dont know who or what is actually true

Crazy me

2009-03-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

I had planned on doing an entry yesterday but I was waiting around to go to the store..I guess I could have while I was waiting but anyway, I finally made it to the store. I got my money orders and stuff. Rode to KFC to get dinner and then back home. Then when I got home, me and junior ate dinner and watched the movie "Twilight" and the dvd extras. It was long, so it took awhile to finished. It had to have been like after 3pm when we started watching and it was about 7pm or after when we finished. So later after it was over I started playing this really cute game called "Emerald City Confidential". I really shouldnt have started playing it so late. I didn't start playing the game until 8pm. I ended up staying up playing it until 6am. Yeah. I know Im crazy, but it was so much fun and I wanted to finish it and since I didnt have to get up early to go to work today it didnt really matter. Oh, and I want to say thank you Alvia, for letting me use all of your wondeful tags. I think Im addicted to your fotki..ha ha..seriously, lol.

Rainy Days

2009-03-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

well its been raining all day. I had planned on going to the store because I need to get some things but Im thinking about just going tomorrow. Since its so late and it might start raining again..I dont trust walking out there with my luck, lol. I've been looking thru my pile of magazines and watching tapes. Lastnight I got sick. I think it was the pizza I ate from Domino's. I dont think I want anything else from them anymore. They must have giving us a pizza they had sitting out because they brought it way too quick. I was in so much pain. Threw up and I had to go lay down for awhile. Thankfully after laying down for awhile I felt better. Later that night me and Junior watched this movie called "The Uninvited". Its a Japanese movie..subtitled and all that jazz. It was interesting but weird and didnt make sense. Seems to be the theme I get with most movies lately. I dont know what to do. So I dont know what Im gonna be doing for the rest of the day. Maybe something maybe nothing. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Ok I wrote this entry earlier today. Didnt get a chance to post it so Im adding more to it now. Me and Junior went to walmart. I got the "Twilight" 2 disc special addition and I got a book. Twilight~Directors Notebook. Its too many people roaming walmart late at night. Its just not right and I kept feeling like everyone was looking at me. Ugh..I hate that. I just ate some tuna and crackers a few minutes ago..I guess that was dinner. I had some soup earlier today for lunch, so I hadnt been hungry at all today. Junior bought icecream so Im waiting til I finish my coke and I think I'll eat that..in about..30 minutes. Give this tuna time to digest.

A Bit early

2009-03-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

Morning everyone. I usually wait until the end of the week to post samples but theres a few walmart samples in here and they always go quick. So I thought id better get them in early so if anyone was interested they'd have a chance to get it. Man I am so freakin sleepy. I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I had all these new people working with me in the dishroom and they were just screwing everything up. Everything looked different, it was just weird. Im seriously ready for this week to be over with. My nerves were just completely wrecked lastnight. I played this cool computer game tho. I hope today at work isnt bad. *sigh*

Free T-shirt
http://www.perpster.com/request.php

Free Cottenelle tissue & wipe
http://instoresnow.walmart.com/enhancedrendercontent_ektid68896.aspx

Free Mysteries of the bible book
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Free Eucerin calming cream
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Free Old spic body wash
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100698&source=

Free sample of Zyrtec allergy medicine
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/100678/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100678&source=

Dont Wanna go

2009-03-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

well I really wish i could go back to bed. So bad. lastnight me and my brother watched this movie called "Amusement". It was interesting but it didnt make any sense to me, ugh. I really need to see a good movie. Hopefully next week. Im so glad that i will be off work for spring break next week. Im hoping today will be alot better and I can make it thru without any problems today. Wish me luck on that. I keep forgetting to charge one of my phones. Im just gonna leave it at home today and charge it when I get back. its not like anyone is gonna call me anyway. Im so sleepy. I guess I'll end here, I need to get ready to go. Hope everyone has a nice day.

Soda Buzz/Sneezing/Sleeping/Movie

2009-03-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

I got two free Diet Mountain dews in the mail today. I dont usually like diet drinks but this one actually doesnt taste bad. I joined this thing called Buzz agents and they send you stuff to test out and you give your feed back, spread the word about it I guess. I figured..hey free soda what the heck, even if I dont like it I didnt waste any money on it and I got to try something new. To my surprise it has a pretty good taste. Anyone who wouldn't mind helping me out by going to ChatThreads.com and put in 101-683-468752 in the conversation id part and write that I told you all about Diet Mountain Dew it would mean alot. If not thats ok too, lol...I got some free soda. I'd share but I haven't figured out how to put soda into the computer yet. Today at work was hard for me cuz my allergie meds wasnt working for some reason and I couldn't stop sneezing so I came home and took a nap. Thankfully Im finally feeling better but I do feel like a headache is trying to creep up. I got a movie from netflix today. Yay. Called "Amusement". I hope its good.

Early Monday/Samples

2009-03-23T04:34:00.000-07:00

Well I played this computer game for so long lastnight, that I didnt make it back to do an entry. So here are a few samples from last week. Sorry its not as many this time. Im not ready for today. You never know what your walking into on my job. So wish me luck. My allergies and sinuses seem to want to start up already too...ugh..wish me more luck please. I really didnt want to get out of bed this morning. It was so warm and coozy. Well, gotta go to work soon..maybe I'll write more later today.

free pinklemonade drink mix
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100687&source=

free organic soap
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American photo
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free water bottle

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Questions asked

2009-03-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

Well seems like my whole day has been spent working on letters. Im finally finished thankfully. 12 freakin letters! Thats why I try so hard not to get this behind but I guess sometimes it cant be helped. One of my penpals always ends the letter with about 10 questions for me and I do the same in his letters. These are the questions I came up with this time. And I was hoping my readers would answer these too, because Im curious of what kind of answers I would get. Of course you dont have too but it would make my weekend if you did. :)
1. What is your favorite alcohol drink.
2. What was one of yout favorite hang outs.
3. What would your dream house look like?
4. What would a perfect day be like for you?
5. If you could invent the perfect woman what would she be like?
6. Would you rather have love and be broke or be rich and live without love.
7. Would you consider yourself an emotional person?
8. If you had to think to breathe, do you think you might forget?
9. Whats the best dream you ever dreamt?
10. Do you believe in ghosts?

Just Sleep

2009-03-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

Leaning away from the cold into the heat

nearing to where the flames meet

they kiss the edges of my skin

beckoning for me to let in

the warmth to envelop me deep

into the inside it seeps

and it feels so good to feel the fire

the cozy feeling taking me higher

now all I want to do is sleep

wrapped up for my dreams to keep

pictures playing inside my head

on an empty canvas paints of my mind bleed

and I fall deeper into the comfort of this abiss

surely i wont be missed

it feels too good to hide away

how I wish I could stay

here I dont feel so tired

no longer frantically wired

Here I feel safe and free

lost inside of me

Early Morning Movie Review

2009-03-20T04:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, lastnight me and my brother watched "The Haunting of Molley Hartley". I had been wanting to see this movie for a long time. I was thinking it was gonna be really good. You know like those creepy movies where ghost pop up out of nowhere and scare the crap out of people. Well..I was so dissappointed. It wasnt a single bit of "haunting" in the whole movie. Then during the whole movie they had this long slow build up to the day she turned 18 years old. How she was gonna turn evil and how evil people were gonna come for her on her birthday and horrible things would happen. I mean people were even trying to kill this girl so she wouldn't make it to her 18th birthday. And it finally gets to the end where its her birthday and she's 18 and nothing happens! Except she graduated highschool and it went off! What the puck! I dont get get it. That had to be the suckiest ending to a movie Ive seen in a long time. I mean they really pulled some M. Night Shaymalan mess with that ending. I mean after the movie went off me and my brother were sitting there in silence watching the credits roll for a good 5 minutes til I was just like "why are we just sitting here looking at the screen". After than, me and him and my mom talked for like 10 minutes about how stupid that ending was. That just really hurt my movie feelings. Can you feel my disappointment?

Highlights

2009-03-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

Well today at work sucked, so much so I dont even want to think about it anymore so I wont bother writing about it. But I did get to go to walmart today and I got to do a little shopping. I got two of Kelly Clarksons cds and I got a cute shirt, some hawaiin punch to finish off my concoction and some cheese puffs, just because I feel like stuffing my face. I got a movie in from netflix. Its called "The Haunting of Molley Hartley". I've been wanting to see it since it came out at the movies. I also cant wait to see "SuperNatural" tonight. I love that show.

Wishful Thinking

2009-03-19T04:41:00.000-07:00

I feel so tired and worn out this morning..and extremely sleepy. And I went to bed earlier than I usually do as wednesday so I dont understand. I also feel really worn out. I'll be so glad when this week is over with. I'll be even happier when spring break gets here. I really need the rest. Anyway, hopefully today wont be bad. Hopefully it will go by quickly. Wish I had a remote for the universe. Man I wish I could just get in bed and go back to sleep right now!

Mental Issues

2009-03-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

Today at work wasnt bad at all. Can you believe I had a drama free day? Phew! Anyway, Im tired. I heard today that one of the girls that used to work with us (but she got transferred cuz the boss couldn't get along with her) that she's in the hospital on the 6th floor. I guess thats the mental patients floor..I dont know, I never been down there. Anyway, of course my boss loves to spread stuff so she was telling us that someone told her that the girl came to work one day and went to the office, called her mom and told her that people at work were picking on her, so her mom came up there and she was looking at her mom like she didnt know who she was. The boss lady told us that her mom talked to the manager and they said they hadnt even seen her today and nobody had been picking on her. Anyway, to shorten a long story they say she hadn't been talking her medication for awhile, so I guess..crap, I dont know. I mean I know she always acting like she was..not all the way there. I just thought she was slow. I didnt know she was on medication for depression or whatever else. I hope she gets better tho. She said that her husband has been in and out of the hospital for mental problems too. They have a baby that she had not too long ago..I wonder who takes care of the baby.

Morning Routine

2009-03-18T04:15:00.000-07:00

I was just wondering what everyones morning routine was.The first thing I do is slap my alarm clock. That thing takes a beating every morning. Now after this..it changes from time to time, like yesterday some how after slapping that annoying box on my table I went back to sleep. Ended up over sleeping by 36 minutes. Then when I jumped up it took me forever to find my freaking glasses. And guess where they were? On the floor! But I digress. But on a normal morning (whatever that is) I usually get up (after abusing wake up tool) and turn on my computer, go to the bathroom, pee, clean myself, brush my teeth (not exactly in that oder) go back to my room, put on my work clothes, deoderant, comb & brush my hair, turn on the tv and listen to creflo dollar while looking around online. What else do I do? Hmm..put on my watchor whatever other jewelry I might be wearing..sometimes I foget my watch. I liseten to Joyce Meyers for about 15 minutes. Get my purse, cd player, jacket, phones and whatever else I might decided to take and Im out the door...but not before turning off the computer, tv, checking the stove, turning off all the lights in the house, including nightlights and porch lights and Im walking down the street. Im doing good if Im out the door at 7:45, I have to be to work at 8 but most days Im not so lucky. Yesterday didnt start out good because of waking up late and then when i get to work before I can even clock in Im asked to sign a statement saying what I heard being said about the gun. So I did that. I was told by her (our site manager) that noone would know except our school manager, her and the other girl who heard about the gun. But later after breakfast I hear my boss stand up telling everyone that me and that girl had to sign a statement. To me that is so unprofessional and she keeps alot of mess stirred up herself. Later on the lady who was talking about bringing a gun to school was told to go to the central office by the boss over all the schools. She told her she couldnt cuz her car wouldnt make it that far. So she ended up coming down to our school calling her to the office. I guess they had a meeting with her and the principal. Long story made shorter, she ended up being suspended for 10 days. Now to me that is stupid. Why not just fire her since she had caused so much problems and get us someone else in her place. Now were gonna be out 2 people cuz I know they are not gonna send someone to replace her until she gets back so that just makes things even worse for us. I just dont know about these people. Do they even think? Seriously?! But whatever..(now back to our regularly scheduled programming) So what is everyone else's morning routines. I really would like to know. Hoping your day is filled with less drama than mine.

~on the verge of a early morning headache

Sick/Samples

2009-03-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

I have been sick all weekend so I just haven't felt like doing anything, but I wanted to post these samples. Hopefully its a few in here people like.

Free Coffee spoon
http://backalleycoffee.net/backalleyspoon.php

Free Kotex
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/100664/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100664&source=&ss_id=

Free body wash
https://www.caressskinwearcollection.com/english/register.asp?lang=english&task=sample

Free Volpi Italian food sample
http://www.volpifoods.com/join-the-vip-club/

Kotex extra thin samples
http://startsampling.com/sm/100664/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100664

Free subscription to Rogue magazine
http://www.rougemag.com/US/Subscribe.aspx

Billy Boy Candy Pocket Tin Sample
http://billyboycandiesonline.com/ourcandy.html

Mess in the kitchen

2009-03-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

well today at work certainly lacked no drama. The boss lady got into a loud argument with one of the ladys I work with. Cussin and threats, insults and all that jazz. I just clocked out and went out into the dinning room and ate my lunch. I just didnt even want to be around all that negativity. Im so glad tomorrow is friday. Last night I was up til 1am watching "Night watch". I could barely keep my eyes open thru it. I found myself nodding way too many times, lol. It was slow going compared to the 2nd part. Yeah we watched the movies backwards because Netflix screwed me. I was thinking about making a new journal. I was at work today and looking at all the cuts on my hands and arms and thought about doing a journal about how I damage myself. Im curious as to how many times in a week I actually, cut, scratch, burn and bruise myself. But Id probably get bored of that quick and end up deleting and I dont think anyone would read it..it was just a thought.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

I forgot my chocolate milk & oranges at work today

Two of my fav songs right now: Dead and gone By: T.I. F.
Justin Timberlake & Rockin that thang By: The Dream

Dead and gone is the ring tone on my phone

I rarely hear it cuz nobody calls me on it

I got some baby wipes and a cosmo magazine in the mail for free today

My aunt annoyed the crap out of me today cuz she wants to all of a sudden start planning these family get together, and I guess cuz she had a new idea Im pose to jump? I think not

I want something to eat but theres nothing here to snack on

I have the munchies cuz of my allergie meds

But I dont feel like walking to the store

I feel as high as a kite and I dont like it

Im drinking water right now

I've been thinking about taking a nap all day but it never happened

I was up til 2am watching a movie last night called "Day watch"

It was weird but good

I got the movie "Night watch" in the mail today

Yesterday I went to Roses & Walmart

Its starting to feel like summer time already

Thats why I have on shorts

I downloading this game called "Mortimer Beckett and the
Secrets of Spooky Manor". The stupid thing came up but then it wouldnt play. :(

The weekends over (Sunday samples)

2009-03-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

Well I had a nice weekend. I got to go see a movie. Me, my mom and my brother went to see "The Watchmen". It was really good. My allergies are starting to act up. So I think Im going to bed soon. I actually went to bed at 10pm lastnight which is way too early for me but I had a horrible headache and I was tired and sleepy and just couldnt take it anymore. The day before I had stayed up to 3am and them got up around 8am..so my body clock is all messed up. The weekend always goes by way too fast and Im just not ready for the work week to start. Well, heres some free samples Ive found during the week. I hope someone can find something they like.

Free Mouse pad
http://hostohost.com/gift.html

Ziploc bags
https://secure.startsampling.com/sm/100624/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100624&source=&p=&key=ab3f6bce8a5ab390e9039fd7af7d995e

Betty Crocker warm delight minis
http://freewarmdelights.bettycrocker.com/WarmDelights/Default.aspx?source=900

Free Tote bag
http://www.delallo.com/articles/free-tote-bag

Free perfume sample
http://www.moblae.com/shop/cart.php?m=product_list&c=6

Free Crest whitening strips
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100682&source=

Found a few..words

2009-03-05T20:18:00.000-08:00

Lastnight me and my brother watched the movie "Sight". Ugh..it was not good. It was weird and didnt make sense. On top of that I was doped up on allergy medicine, so I had to fight not to fall asleep on it. Thankfully it wasnt a very long movie and I watched it an hour earlier than I usually watch movies so I think that might have helped alot. I got a crook in my neck..not sure how it got there. Maybe from holding my head down reading for so long. I dont know. Im so glad that tomorrow is friday. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. I even set the alarm again and slept for 30 more minutes. The movie "Watchmen", comes out tomorrow. I really want to go see that. But I'm waiting until Saturday. I dont like to go see a movie on the first day it comes out cuz its always too many people.

Lost 4 words

2009-03-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

Well..I dont really know what to say or write..

I really dont..so.. I'll just add this.

I got my interview questions from Rose & Jill of Delightfully Inappropriate:

Melissa:

1. What is your favorite food? lets see. I have lots of favorites. I dont know if I could pick just one..so I'll name a few. I love Steak, mac& cheese, baked potatoes, collard greens, pizza and french fries.

2. What is your all time favorite movie? Man, this is another hard one cuz I love movies. But if I have to pick just one off the top of my head I'd have to say the very first "Saw" movie.

3. What is your occupation? Im a nutriton assistant. Well, thats the pretty way of saying it. But basically I work in a elementary school cafeteria. The kids call me the "lunchroom lady", lol.

4. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why? Right now I have to say oralndo florida, cuz i want to go to all the different amusement parks.

5. Do you believe there is life on other planets? Um, no..not really. Would that life be considered as aliens...um, no..id like to think they dont exist,lol.

Straight to the point

2009-03-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

I should have done an entry way earlier. I dont know what ive been doing all day. I feel like today went by so fast. My mom had her procedure done today. She said the Dr. told her she has a higher hernia..dont know if Im spelling it right or not but he thinks that maybe whats causing the pain but now after looking down her throat he wants to go in thru her nose..Im like..what the..is there any hole they haven't tryed to go in yet? Then she asks him for some meds for the pain and he says he cant cuz he dont know whats causing the pain..but I thought he just said it was the hernia...I give up! I hate Dr's! Anyway, other than that I enjoyed my extra day off. I think a little too much cuz Im completely set in my laziness, I seriously cant be bothered to be moved. But I guess Im going to have to, eventually. But I have gotten alot of reading done. So I guess I did accomplish something, lol. I guess thats it for now.

Sundays Samples & Poetry

2009-03-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Last night Inspirarion hit me while I was listening to some music and out flowed these words.

Block out the light, cant bear to open my eyes, closing my ears, dont want to hear your lies, sound proof the room, so noone hears my cries
All alone, so I talk to myself, sanity tells me its bad for my health, But I dont care what you think and I dont care what you say, the voices in my head tells me Im ok

Is there ever enough 2 go around, people trying 2 knock you down, standing on ur toes trying 2 reach the top wondering if the pain will stop
Pleasure and pain, venom and blood, mix it all in with the rain and mud. You breathe in, exhale with a hiss, all around you smells like piss
Rain drops fall on your lips, rocks and pebbles crushed against your hips
You feel the heat, you feel the strain, you hold your breath and welcome the rain
Its no illusion, your all alone
And all you wish for, is for the pain to be gone

Unraveling and frayed, held against your will
dont know what to think or how to feel
doesnt feel real, cant be right
how can you feel this everynight
bound and pressed against the glass
couldnt buy your way out with cash
nothing to do but wait for it to happen again
ready, set, lets begin

Savor the taste, reliquish your hunger
your cravings getting stronger
cant hold back any longer
You feel like your right on the edge
disturbingly close to the end of the ledge
Left with your lonely mind to wonder
your screams drowned out by the sound of the thunder

Here are you samples I've found during the week. Hope theres some things people might like to sign up for.

If your a vegaterian, or want to become one, heres a free book with recipes and tips on how to go Veg
http://www.gofreebies.com/freebie.asp?id=2054

Free Condom (click on the little pack of condoms)
http://www.hornygoatbrewing.com/site/index.html

Free stuffed animal & blanket (choose from a bear, pig, lamb or piggy)
http://www.babiesonestep.com/feb_giveaway.html

Free National Wildlife pillow
http://online.nwf.org/site/Survey

Free Nail Polish
http://www.teenfreeway.com/opi_nail/index.htm

Free Subscritpion to Elle Magazine
http://www.gofreebies.com/freebie.asp?id=1927

Free Water Bottle
http://www.unbottleyourtea.com/share.cfm

Free hair gel
http://www.softsheencarson.com/_us/_en/landing/BlackHistoryMonthFS.aspx

Free Panty Liners
http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100679&source=

Free body oil samples
http://www.gofreebies.com/freebie.asp?id=2082

Snow day!

2009-03-01T18:56:00.000-08:00

Guess what? It snowed today! I was shocked. I know they had been saying it was going to snow but if you know our weather people and their accuracy rate, you would understand why I was so skeptical. And even better I got a call from my boss telling me the schools would be closed tomorrow so I dont have to go to work. Yay! I'm so happy. I could definately use an extra day off. I love snow days. We rarely get them. I tryed to take some pictures of the snow. This is the best I could do with my flaky camera.

Awards

2009-02-28T12:42:00.000-08:00

I was given the "Sexy Blogger Award" By Sharon of Life is a wonderland. Thank you so much! Actually this award was given to me for my Story Journal, but since only a few people read it I wanted to share it here.

http://sharoninwonderland.blogspot.com/2009/02/sexy-blogger-award.html

Rules:
List five things about yourself that YOU think makes you SEXY!

Ok, I have to change the rules on this a little bit because..well, I dont really think of myself as sexy. So im going to name 5 things that people have told me they think is sexy about me.

1. My eyes. I have been told I have sexy eyes..even heard I have bed room eyes. (whatever that means)

2. My smile. I've been told that my smile is sexy. (I can almost see that..sometimes)

3. My body. Ive been told I have a sexy body or sexy shape. (still dont understand that one)

4. My voice. People tell me I have a sexy voice. Well..men do. (I dont like my voice)

5. My Stories and Poems. Ive been told that some of my stories and poems are sexy. (I can actually see that...cuz I can really go there when I want to, lol)

My picks:

http://somemightcallmecrazy.blogspot.com/2009/02/being-sick-annoyed-easily.html

http://suburbaneuphoria.blogspot.com/2009/02/carrot-hiccups.html

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com/2009/02/these-turned-out-really-nice.html

http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/2009/02/mystery.html

http://delightfullyinappropriate.blogspot.com/2009/02/honey-im-home.html

Another award given to me for my story journal by Sharon (thanks girl!) "Addicting Blog Award".

Rules:
List 7 things you do on a regular basis that could become an addiction.

1. Drink Coca-cola (yeah, already an addict Coke is the real thing! LOVE IT!)

2. Being on the computer/Online (past addiction)

3. Watching movies (hmm, yeah..already there. I love! Love! Movies!)

4. Eating (This really is something I have to do, but I do think it can become additing)

5.Popping pills ( I hope it never becomes an addiction but Ive been doing alot of that lately)

6. Daydreaming ( I seem to do alot of this recently too, guess its not a bad thing)

7. Reading ( I used to be very addicted but slowed down, I think its coming back)

My picks..

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com/2009/02/these-turned-out-really-nice.html

http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/2009/02/mystery.html

http://delightfullyinappropriate.blogspot.com/2009/02/honey-im-home.html

http://suburbaneuphoria.blogspot.com/2009/02/carrot-hiccups.html

http://admdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/look-how-cool-blog-award.html

http://somemightcallmecrazy.blogspot.com/2009/02/being-sick-annoyed-easily.html

And last but certainly not least. I got the "Look how cool" award from Alvia of ADM Designs. http://admdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/look-how-cool-blog-award.html Thank you so much!

I'm supposed to pick 8 blogs and pass it on to them.

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com/2009/02/these-turned-out-really-nice.html

http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/2009/02/mystery.html

http://delightfullyinappropriate.blogspot.com/2009/02/honey-im-home.html

http://suburbaneuphoria.blogspot.com/2009/02/carrot-hiccups.html

http://admdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/look-how-cool-blog-award.html

http://somemightcallmecrazy.blogspot.com/2009/02/being-sick-annoyed-easily.html

http://greenolivesandpicklejuice.blogspot.com/2009/02/thursday-nights.html

http://missiesupsidedownworld.blogspot.com/2009/02/friday-night-update.html

Unexcused Absense

2009-02-27T20:22:00.000-08:00

I know its been awhile since I posted. I didnt really think anyone would notice. I just havent felt like writing because I've been so tired and stressed out from work. Today at work was no different. After work my brother met me up to my job and we went to..well he went to put his money in the bank and I went to cash my last tax refund check and get money out of the bank. Then we went to walmart. I got me a new phone. Boost Mobile. I can chirp, but I have noone to chirp with, lol. I have a headache. My brother got a new controller for his game and then we went to Game stop so he could get a new video game. Then we left. When we came out of Game Stop it was pouring down. So we had to walk all the way home in the rain. And its a really long walk from where we were. By the time we got home we were soaked. I hope neither of us get sick. Ugh..thats the last thing I need. Not to mention my stomach hurt me almost all day at work cuz that time of the month popped up..its way early too..Im kinda glad it came early. Its still raining, and I still have a headache so Im ending here for now.

Early Morning Annoyances

2009-02-23T04:35:00.000-08:00

Too early in the morning to be up..7:27a.m.
Im cold even tho the heat is on
My mood..feeling..or lack of feeling..numb
Not ready for the week to start but what can you do to stop it?
Nothing.
I didnt even get to sleep for the whole last hour because I woke up with my dad with his heavy boots walking back and forth playing with the knob on my heater
I tryed so hard to ignore it but I couldnt any longer
Cuz the foot steps stopped but he was still standing there
So I quickly pulled the covers from my head and looked up at him thru blurry eyes and asked what he was doing
do you know what that man asked me?
"How did the heater come on when its turned off?" What? That is not the kinda question you ask somebody fresh out of sleep early in the freakin morning. I just said I dont know, rolled over and put the cover back over my head. I guess he had satisfied hisself since I was awake now. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't go back. The fact that the cat decided she wanted to play inside her litterbox nonstop until my clock went off, annoyingly telling me, there was no hope left for sleep. And guess what? As soon as I got. Snowflake stopped making noise in her litterbox! Yeah, I have a feeling something is gunning for me today. And I haven't even left the house yet. Crap, hadnt even got out of bed yet. Im scared to go to work now.

Broken Poetry

2009-02-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes emotions run so deep
down the hills and slopes, so steep
leaving you panting feeling like its your last breathe
frantically worrying for your sanity and health
what do you do, when you dont know what to do anymore
where do you go, when theres no open door
who do you lean on when noone understands
When your heart falls, where does it land

Anxiety waits and creeps apon your soul
like an invasion of something stole
left abandon at the bottom of the see
no idea where on earth you should be
in a world that doesnt love you
lost and unsure what to do
when panic sets in you let out a scream
then you pass out and hope it was all a dream

Tomorrow comes even tho your not ready
You must continue to stand even tho your legs are unsteady
You must keep going all tho it hurts to move
So you try your best to get into a grove
Only to be thrown a curve ball to get you off course
Angrily looking for the source
You slowly began to fall behind
Time you cant continue to find
To stop and get yourself together
Counting on people is like counting on the weather
But you keeping moving you have no other choice
While stumbling and falling and loosing your voice
You continue on, grasping at hope
Up and down the slippery slope

I dont want to look, I dont want to see
That reflection looking back at me
I try to hide it the best I can
Things never work out the way I plan
Someone always comes along
Your forced to play your sad song
And open up that old sore
Many times ripped and tore
The memories, they still burn
And your stomach still turns
So I dont want to look, dont want to see
Sometimes I simply just dont want to be

Pictures, Food & Samples

2009-02-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

Here are more free samples to sign up for. Let me know if you sign up for any. I dont want to keep posting these if nobodies interested. I figured everyone liked free stuff..could just be me, lol.

Free Health Journal

(Take the quick quiz and get a free journal)

http://www.allaboutcervicalcancer.org/quiz.php

Free Address lables
http://www.cff.org/GetInvolved/MailingLabels/

Free 4 issue to Esquire magazine
http://www.valuemags.com/freeoffer/Esquire_RDC.asp

Free 2 issues of Family Circle Magazine
http://www.valuemags.com/freeoffer/FamilyCircle-BBS.asp

24 free issues of Parent Magazine
http://www.valuemags.com/freeoffer/parents-BBS.asp

Free issue of Bridal Magazine
http://www.valuemags.com/freeoffer/bridalguide.asp
Free Mascara Sample
http://www.marykay.com/carmel39/freesample/freesample.aspx

Motor Cycle Magazine (4 any guys who my read this)
http://www.roadgear.com/index.php?page=Offer

And my hair after I finished drying and straightening it out.

Me, with my hair wet after washing out the hair relaxer.

Kids trying to be Grown

2009-02-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

Today at work was rough. we had someone out again today which always puts more work on me. Im so glad its over with. Im tired and I need some rest. Im gonna force myself to do my hair tomorrow and get it over with. And maybe I will take some pictures. I dont know. When I was on my lunch break today at work, one of the para-pro's came up to me and tells me that one of the little boys in here kindergarden class got suspended for making a sexual gesture with his hands. You know how some people will make a circle with there fingers and move another finger in and out of it..thats what the kid supposedly did and she said he was hunching on a little girl. But thats not the worst part. Then she tells me that the boys older brother who is in the 4th grade got suspended today too because of a note he wrote to a girl. Later the same lady comes up to me and shows me a text another teacher sent to her telling here what the note said. So she hands me her cell phone to show me the text message..the message basically said that in the note the little boy wrote that he wanted to eat this girls pussy and f*ck her in the a**..not my words, just sharing what I read...look I even added little stars to make it not look so...nasty..but anyway, I was like dang, those are grown man words...ok..so later when im cleaning up the dishroom, I find the note on the floor. Apparently, someone tried to throw it in the trash and missed. Now the dishroom floor was all wet..and so was the note..well, cuz it was on the floor. But I still was able to open it and read it..even tho it started to tear. What the note actually said was this: (Keep in mind a 4th grader wrote this) To:Juicey (why is a 4th grade girl name Juicey?) From: Turk aka: Sexy (and how is a 4th grade boy named Sexy?)
****Sorry..on to the note**** Baby, I love your body and your sexy eyes. When I look at you I think that I got the best looking girl in the world. My d*ck ready but is your p*ssy?You need to let me know when, where, what time. I love you.

Juicy & Turk

4Ever

****End of note****

But you know, after they caught a 4th grade girl bent over in the boys bathroom, getting in from behind by a forth grade boy, I am not surprised. Ugh....I just dont get why kids want to be grown so freakin fast.

Free samples & other things

2009-02-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

well today has been another one of those tiring days. after work i went to cash my check. the lady who cash my check was all asking me if i lost my job because I dont come in there anymore. that aint none of her buisness. but anyway..im exhausted and glad that tomorrow is friday. i got home and saw that I had got my other check in the mail. i am not about to go all the way back again tomorrow. i'll just wait until next friday when my money is in the bank and get it all done at once. all this walking is not helping my thighs heal. they are so freakin sore. not as bad as earlier this week but still. My brother let me use his cellphone to listen to music cuz the batties in my cd player died on my way back home yesterday. I got that money order to put on the phone bill today. I feel alot better now that I know it wont be so high. I washed dishes already and got that out of the way. Yay! Man, I took a bubble bath and I got the water way too hot! Ouch..but once I got in it, it felt really good. I had to kinda ease my way into it.

I know Im always talking about the free samples I get in the mail. I thought Id share some with you.

Free Subscription to soap opera digest. (All you soap fans, this is for u)

http://www.freebizmag.com/emailsoapdigest01welcome.htm

Free Huggies baby wipes (even if u dont have a baby..wipes come in handy

http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?item=100677&source=

Free paper towel sample from walmart

http://www.startsampling.com/sm/walmart/captureAddress.iphtml?

Ready 4 the week 2 end

2009-02-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

Im tired and my thighs are sore. I went and go my tax refund check today after work. I guess I will go cash it tomorrow after work. Im gonna ask my brother if I can take his phone with me to work tomorrow so I can listen to some music on my way down there cuz my batteries died on me on my way back from Clarks and Associates. Im ready for this week to be over with already.

Update: Later that day..

2009-02-17T20:17:00.001-08:00

Ugh..well I lost my entries so I guess I will try to do it again. My mom finally got in touch with her Dr. Now she has an appointment to go see some other Dr. way across town next Monday. I dont understand why my mom has to practically hunt down this Dr. It makes no sense. I just dont know. She also has another appointment this thursday to see her Dr. Im hoping this other Dr. will be able to figure out whats wrong with her and give her something to make her feel better. It makes no sense for her to be hurting like this every day. Im pissed at myself cuz I let the phone bill get to high..ugh..I gotta do something. I think when I get my tax refund back im gonna put a good bit on it, its a start to getting it down. I got a free candle sample in the mail today. I love candles. They come in handy when the lights go out.

Scared

2009-02-17T12:03:00.000-08:00

Today at work wasnt too bad as far as working even tho, two people were out. I ended up having to work on the line today tho but it was ok since we had all those salads. I called my mom around 12 when I had a little break to see how she was doing. I had wanted to call her earlier but I didnt because I thought she might be sleeping and I didnt want to wake her, specially since when I woke up this morning at 5am she was awake and she said she was hurting. So I waited until 12 to call and I talked to her and she didnt sound so good. She said her chest was hurting real bad and she could hardly breathe. So then I started to get worried. She says shes feeling a little better but she's still hurting. She's been trying to get in touch with her doctor but the helfer cant be reached. This is pissing me off. Whats the point of having a doctor when they dont help you. This is why I dont like Dr.'s. All that she went thru in the hospital and they couldnt find anything so they send her home and haven't done anything to help since..I mean dang, haven't even checked on her to see how she was doing or what? I just dont know what to do. I dont want anything to happen to my mom, I dont know what I would do. Its starting to scare me. So many people are getting sick and dying...I dont even want to think about it. Ugh..I need to change subjects before I depress myself. But I cant think of anything else to write right now. So I guess I'll just stop here.

Back 2 It

2009-02-16T20:14:00.000-08:00

So its back to work tomorrow. Im not ready for it at all. Even tho I had 4 days off it doesnt even seem like it cuz one day I was sick, the 2nd day I was recoving, and the last two days went by in a freakin blur. Im glad that i will be back in the dishroom tho, because I hate working on the line. It was my intention to work on letters today but I havent at all, and I know it wont get done now because I'm getting a headache. I had some yummy candy tonight, it was hersheys kisses but it was white chocolate and it had cookie in it. I need to find some of those. I wonder if they are at all stores or if its a special thing cuz my mom brought it home from my cousins wedding on Saturday. I also had so kisses that were cordial cherry..its what my mom got my day for V-day..interesting taste. I really need to stop eating all of this chocolate. I need to get this phone bill paid. I wonder why the bill hasnt come yet.

Stanky Leg

2009-02-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ok I literally cleaned myself sore...well..not me but my room. Now Im pooped. Im not suppose to be working today. And all that dust has started up my allergies. Thats the last thing I need. Its a song out now called "Stanky leg". Ok..is it me or is this gross..I mean I wouldnt tell nobody I had a stanky leg. I know its the name of a dance, but thats not a nice name..I wouldn't want it. If somebody told me I had a stanky leg I'd be offended. They really need to find some better names for these stupid dances and songs they keep making.

Dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

2009-02-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

You know I have an issue. How do you know what to say and not to say to people? I mean people are always saying, oh you can talk to me and I'll be here for you or yeah you can talk to me about anything, and then when you open up to them its like a slap in the face..cuz obviously their not as open minded as they said they were. It just sucks. This is why I dont open up to people cuz whenever I reach out and take the chance to be open with someone about what Im feeling or what Im going thru I wish I never have. Well..it wont happen again. Theres very few people I can openly talk to in this world and it doesnt take all 5 fingers. I'll just stick to talking to those. I just cant deal with close minded people. Only gives me more reason to stay hidden in the dark. Thanks for nothing.

Aches & Pains

2009-02-15T16:03:00.000-08:00

I went to church this morning. Its the same as always. When the service was almost over and I was standing up, I started to get dizzy and my stomach started to hurt so I sat down. I was so sleepy the whole time. I thought maybe if I ate something when I got home I'd feel better since I hadnt eaten anything all morning. But it didnt help. Then I ended up getting a headache. Crap. So I've been drinking water and trying to lay down. Im starting to feel better now. Im trying to catch up on my tapes cuz I've been behind on them for a few weeks now. I've ben thinking about my chocolate candy. I should get some..not now, but later. I'm gonna watch a movie later with Junior.

Recovery Road

2009-02-14T18:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was sick all day. I dont know where it came from, just out of nowhere...ugh. First day of vacation..not a good way to start it but at least I didnt have to work that day. I got up and went to the atm machine and went to get a money order and came back home. On my way back I started to feel really dizzy. Im glad I made it back home without falling out in the street. So, yeah I spent half the day in the bathroom and the other half in the bed. Im feeling alot better today tho thankfully. This morning I was really sore and hurting but Id just roll over and go back to sleep. Everytime I woke up Id feel a little better until the last time I woke up and the pain was gone. Phew! Oddly my stomach still feels empty and I cant eat very much..and Im not gonna force it, I dont want to get sick again. I got candy, cards and a drawing for Valentines day, so that was nice. Im trying hard not to eat this whole box in one night..its a small box but still..

Sleep wanted here

2009-02-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

Its been a long hard day, work sucked..thankfully its over and I can finally get some rest. My legs hurt. I was hoping I would get paid today but I guess it will be tomorrow. I was wanting to go on down there when I left work since I was already out but I guess its best this way cuz Im too tired to be going anywhere else right now. So I'll check my account when I get up tomorrow and then go. My mom wants a gift basket for Valentines day..Im just gonna let her get it herself cuz she is so picky. My brother didnt want any candy so I told him Id get him a cake. His favorite cake is birthday, lol. Im so glad I have 4 days off. I really need it. Lastnight me and my brother watched the movie "Scorpion King 2". It was good but I was so tired and sleepy I had a hard time staying awake even tho I was sitting up, I found myself tipping over every now and then. I cant wait to see "Super Natural" tonight. I love that show. Im looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. I took a nap, so it helped me to not be drop dead sleepy but Im still tired and sleepy. SuperNatural was a rerun..ugh..already! The season just started back. But Survivor strated back up today and Making the Band. Ugh..still sleepy.

Simple

2009-02-11T18:52:00.000-08:00

If life were simple..

yet..it isn't

Today was kind of hard at work

hope tomorrows not bad

the mailman finally brung my mail

took him long enough

Im tired..

If you need rest too

Apply here, and bring pillows

I need some rest...

If only it was that simple

Feeling numb/My picks for the Bff award

2009-02-10T20:41:00.000-08:00

http://admdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/bff-award.html
alvia

tabby

http://tabathamax.blogspot.com/

Cheryl

http://starbucksbreak.blogspot.com/

Missy

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com/

http://goslingsaerie.blogspot.com/

Gosling

http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/

Cheri

Shards of glass, insert here

Razor blade, cut there

Blood dripping everywhere

If it splashes, I dont care

I feel really down for some reason, yet..I feel..really numb inside. You know like how sometimes you can cut yourself, bump hard against something but you dont feel it at first..you just feel sort of like a black out of the body. Im tired and worn out. I feel ashamed and dirty. I feel stupid, worthless, empty. And I feel annoyed with myself for feeling all of these things. Wait..let me back track..I felt all of those things at first, and now I just feel numb..yeah thats it. I confuse myself sometimes.

I hate our mailman

2009-02-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

Im pissed cuz I have been waiting all day for the mailman to come cuz I was suppose to get something in the mail and he didnt even bring it. I dont know what his problem is or why he cant never bring all my freakin mail when he is suppose too. Work wasnt too bad. After work I went to do my taxes. Im glad that I got that out of the way. I just want the mailman to bring my stuff. Is that too much to ask for?

90 things about me

2009-02-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

90 Things You Might Not Know About Me...

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? my brother threw one of his toys at me when he was little and it hit me in my face.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? posters, calendars, drawings, pictures

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I used to talk in my sleep when I was little, I also used to sleep walk, ive grinded my teeth in my sleep before but I dont think so recently. My family tells me I have a faint snore sometimes.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? I like R&B, Hiphop, pop, rock, and gospel

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 8:06p.m.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? to get married

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? spending time with the person I love

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? um, Id have to say my computer and my cd player..oh and my tv...wait my vcr..um, that wasnt a good question to ask, lol.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'5 or 5'6, im unsure

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? no..I dont mind small enclosed spaces..but I dont like being in small enclosed spaces with alot of people

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?sometimes. when I have bad dreams I dont like to be in the dark when I wake up. some nights I sleep with my tv on but its on mute.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?wow..I cant remember..thats good right?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL?I dont really have a favorite..whatever smells good. I dont use perfume alot, I mostly buy body spray

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Um..well I think black hair is beautiful on anyone. As for eye color I dont know...I find a persons eyes can be very sexy..a man with sexy eyes can always get my attention. I dont think its a specific color tho, but the shape of the eyes and the intensity in them is what really gets too me.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/ BEING PROPOSED TO? um...well I think id rather be proposed to in private...that should be a private moment, so somewhere alone in a romantic setting. But that doesnt always happen, so it really doesnt matter, its the way in which you are proposed to, not so much where.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Energy drink, me needs lots of energy

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA? meatlovers pizza from pizza hut

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? some chips, I want something to snack on but I dont really need anything.

19. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? lol..actually yes I have

20. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? How the heck would I know..my memory is not that good, lol.

21. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? Sure do

22. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? maybe, who's asking and why?

23. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? yeah right..why pay for a name. somebody should pay me to put my name on some clothes, lol

24. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? yes and she is a spoiled brat and Im glad she is not bothering me right now

25. WHAT KIND IS IT? a cat

26. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU? its not something you can control

27. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? telling them and showing them

28. PICK A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 25

29. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? brunettes I guess

30. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? our home number

31. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? negative and critical people

32. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? no

33. YOUR WEAKNESSES? coke..love

34. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? nope, cant say that I have

35. FIRST JOB? I worked at a summer program for kids

36. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? no i dont think so

37. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? taking a bubble bath

38. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? thankfully no

39. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? either my eyes or my body..or is it my face..crap, pick one! I dont know, i get compliments alot and I dont know why.

40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nope.

41. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? hmm.well, Im not gonna wish for anything big..I just want to see a good movie.

42. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? uh, sometimes, none..sometimes 1..Im still undecided

43. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? no I wasnt and I like it that way

44. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? I used to, but not anymore. wanna know why? cuz it dont work,lol

45. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?whatevers avaliable

46. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yeah I do, sometimes I get annoyed with it tho

47. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?ham

48. ANY BAD HABITS? sure..ready to be grossed out? If not, skip quickly..I'll give you a minute......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................gone yet? Ok..now for you sick people who like being grossed out, lol..I like to peel my scabs..and then watch it bleed, lol..ha ha, you asked for it, lol.

49. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON YOUR SHELF? Im not really embarrassed by any of my cds. But one cd I wish I didnt get was the princess diaries sound track, and I still dont know why I got it, I dont even remember buying it. apparently I blacked out!

50. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?oh, i'd love me! Im a good friend, lol.

51. DO LOOKS MATTER? Yes, I mean to a point looks does matter, who doesnt want to be physically attracted to the person their with. But I dont think that should be the basis for a relationship, I mean you can be drop dead gorgeous but if we cant get along and have nothing in common it wont work no matter how bad you might want it to.

52. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? writing it out, in a poem or in a diary/journal/blog, singing, dancing, drawing or if all else fails, just kick and throw something.

53. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? I don't have one.

54. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? my cabbage patch doll, her name was Lisa

55. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? um, would you like me to count? I can, hold on..15, I think

56. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? lol..not a fan but I thought it was funny

57. DO YOU USE SARCASM? all the time

58. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Macaroni and cheese please! I hate mashed potatoes

59. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY? someone who can make me laugh, accepts me for who I am

60. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Lissa, Bird, Hunny

61. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER?: Favorite band "Linkin park/Evanescense...Singer:Mariah Carey/Beyonce'

62. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? House, SuperNatural, Ghostwhisper, Medium, Monk, The Real World

63. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE?I dont know..I think I did better than I thought I would tho

64. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? sure do!

65. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? I like Florida

66. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? I dont know, lol

67. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED? Paul

68. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? the tv guid channel

69. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Dr.Pepper

70. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My brother

71. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? their eyes

72. LAST TEXT YOU GOT? from Missy

73. FAVORITE THING TO HAVE? peace and quiet/privacy

74. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? I dont think I have one..hmm..maybe a month during the summer cuz I dont have to work,lol

75. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? mine...sagg

76. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? black

77. EYE COLOR? brown

78. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? I dont really like sports, but sometimes I watch boxing, wrestling or nascar

79. FAVORITE FAST FOOD ownRESTURANT? Dairy Queen or Pizza Hut

80. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? no..yuck

81. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Intervention..well its on now

82. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? I dont know anymore

83. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? no, wish i did tho

84: Vanilla or Chocolate: chocolate

85. KISSES OR HUGS? kisses

86. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships

87. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? a case of dr.pepper

88. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? I dont
89. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Dying for Revenge By: Eric Jerome Dickey

90. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: beautiful, romantic

At the Moment

2009-02-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

At The Moment I'm...
Reading-Dying for Revenge By: Eric Jerome Dickey

Listening to-When I grow up
Watching-Family Court
Dreading-work tomorrow
Excited about-getting a surprise Tuesday

Craving-love and affection
Thinking-about sex
Wanting-hugs and kisses
Hoping-for some rest