Danger

Its dangerous to get to close

back away please I warned you

just one dose

is never enough, its true

back against the wall, trouble closing in

no emergency break to stop the speed

to helpless to defend

unless you stop, do not proceed

I beg you, its not safe

Move away, before its too late

Firdays Shoot-Out: Outdoor Foods

I love food..maybe a bit too much. And when I think of out door foods, I always think of a cook out. And you can have a cook out with out a good burger. And I love me some bbq ribs!

And you gotta have some hot dogs..I know a hot dog was in the first picture but at that time the burger was having its time in the spot light..lol..ok. I thought this weeks assignment was cool.

Tears

Well, I've been crying on and off today so..this poem is dedicated to those tears I cries.

I got issues
bring out the tissues
here comes the tears
pour out my fears
drain from my eyes
like water from the skies
feel all my pain
drip drop like rain
apon my cheek
my heart it weeps
from all the strain
feeling insane
conscious of it all
bracing myself for the fall

Giving up

Im sitting here feeling pretty worthless right now. Im trying to figure out how the supposedly simple things in my life always blow up into big issues. My brother called me from work, asked me to ask our dad if he could pick him up something from chic-fila for dinner because by the time he got off work the place would be closed. Well being the kind of person he is he didn't want to do it so he tells me he wants me to go in and get it. I told him no Im not going, my brother asked him to go. So my mom volunteers to go. She goes to get the food and on her way out she trips and falls, scraps her knee and her chin. Do you know that man comes home and blames me. Says its my fault that happened to her. Now how is that my fault? I'm really tired of everybody blaming everything on me. So my mom tells her mom (we call her granny) what happened. Then granny tells her that she needs to go to the emergency room. So..thats where she is right now. This right here, is why I never write in my journal anymore. I never have anything good to write about anymore. Seems like things are always happening to try to bring me down, and you know what..its working. I really am wondering why I even bother. So close to giving up. I dont know why Im even here. Would anybody care if tomorrow I just disappeared? And I know people are probably thinking, its nothing to get this worked up about but this is just one more thing on top of everything thats been going on the last two months and I really dont think I can take anymore. Im beginning to not want to even get up anymore. Whats the point? Im just about ready to give up.

Friday's Shoot-Out: Reflections

I dont want to look in the mirror
I dont want to see
My own reflection starring back at me
I dont want to look, just want to hide
and get away from the pain inside
I dont need to see, I dont wanna know
Just need to get out, I just want to go
Away from my reflection, away from these eyes
Away from the torn soul, drowned by your many lies
Cant trust these eyes, cant trust this face
Wishing I could be some other place
Gotta get away from the glare
away from the constant stare
So I cant look in the mirror
Because I dont want to see
My own reflection
Starring back at me

Fairy Tale

I want to dream about the house with the white picket fence
That I'll share with my prince
who rode in on that white horse and saved me
isnt that how fairy tales say its suppose to be
but I stopped dreaming of that long ago
the more you live, the more you know
The things you thought you wanted, you dont anymore
dreams were broken, you closed the door
No more making wishes, they dont come true
Believe me, they never do
Not for me anyway
sad to say
But along those broken wishes and dreams
I still hope and pray no matter how hopeless it seems
Even tho there are no fairy tales, I still hope that there will be
Somewhere in life, a happily ever after for me

Why

Why cant I be normal, why must it be so hard for me

why must I suffer and feel the way I feel

Why cant I just be happy, why cant I be

Why must my nightmares always seem so real

Why do I feel like Im going insane

Plugging my on Blog

I've been posting alot in my most recently made blog. Noone seems to be reading..so Im not sure if people even know about it so I thought that maybe I'd put it out there. If you like to know about new tv shows, books and movies you should definately check it out.

http://letustalkabouttv.blogspot.com/

Worth It

I just want to lay in the the water

let the cool waves wash over me

allowing me to forget everything

except what feels good, and right

just want to listen to the breeze

and feel it on my skin

allowing me to remember that its still worth it

to keep going, to hang on

begging me to see that its ok, to keep waiting

because one day I'll finally see

what all the waiting was for

and hopefully I will be able to say

It was worth it

Fridays Shoot-Out: Yard Objects

I liked this assigment alot because I always love to see yard objects, decorations or oranments on people lawns or in their yard. I wish I could have stuff like this in our yard but I wouldn't dare leave anything worth taking in my yard because someone would only steal it. So..I have to live vicariously thru other peoples decorations. This is only regular stuff, people go all out for the holidays. Sometimes the amount of stuff you see in peoples yards, seems like they are competing with the folks next door. Anyway...here ya go.

Fridays Shoot-Out: Textures

Im a little late cuz I got stuck playing this game but..yeah

Wrap me inside your cloth

bind my body with silk

Just let the texture spread

and blend with my skin

soft, smooth and sexy like satin

Like tying a bow around you

and presenting yourself as a gift

Hurts

It hurts deep inside to have this weak skin

that breaks at the slightest touch within

any kind of push or struggle tears away

at the core and makes it hard to make it thru the day

wondering when you'll ever be normal inside

not constantly wanting to hide from the world

like a scared little girl

hiding under the bed from a monsterous demon

that leaves you panting and screaming

on the edge of anxiety, deep in fight

making it difficult to sleep thru the night

but it hurts and it burns and its draining me

why, does it have to be

Better Late than never right?

Well I know Im late but thought I'd drop in to say I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. I didn't do much today. Played a game, watched a movie, read a book..thats about it, lol. I watched the movie "Pulse", its the third time ive seen it but I hadnt watched it in awhile. Since I didn't get a movie from netflix because of the holiday, I watched that.

Friday's Shoot Out-Celebrate Life

Well, here in Macon, GA we celebrate the Cherry Blossoms. Aren't they pretty!

They have a all week thing down town, celebrating, doing different things, like games, concerts, food, drinks, they even give out icecream, but I never get the chance to go get any cuz Im always at work at the time and they stop giving away icecream at 12 I think..or is it 1, heck I dont know but I never get any. At the end of the week they have a street party.

We also celebrate the Georgia State Fair.

With all the wind from the rides its always so much colder at night.

On the last day of the street party they have fire works at night.

Tomorrow being the 4th of July Im sure there will be lots of fireworks. I sometimes like to watch them at home, I can see them from my house.

Some people like to celebrate by wearing funny looking hats. I dont but some people do.

And whats a celebration without a few balloons.

And ice cream

And cake too! Im not sure how I'll be celebrating tomorrow of if I even will. Not sure what celebrating means to me anymore really...but these are some of the things I feel celebrating must be like. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July.

Needed

So..as you know or may not know, I dont really have any friends here and noone to really talk to. If theres anyone out there who wouldn't mind chatting with me thru emails sometimes let me know. My email address is: Z7Snowflake@aol.com I need someone to talk to.

Tink Tuesday

Lastnight I finished reading "You've been warned", By: James Patterson. It is a really good book, very hard to put down. I got up early this morning because I had to go to the store. I didn't want to be out walking when it got too hot and I know it gets hot really early and the later it gets the hotter it is. So I went out and got my money orders, stamps, some snacks, cashed my check, hit the atm machine, got a coke and came back home. Got my bills out to be mailed, tithes put away, and insurance money..ugh..paid my mom what I owed her. I think thats everything for now. Snowflake was getting on my nerves this morning, she kept waking me up. After chasing her thru the kitchen I went in my room and closed the door to lock her out. When I got up at 9, and opened my door she was sitting outside the door waiting for me. I just dont understand that cat. Anyway, thought I'd drop in, type something. I think im gonna go read some more.

Friday's Shoot-Out: Colors of the Rainbow

Ok, now I want some cake!

I cant help but smile everytime I look at this

Beautiful and colorful

Gotta love rainbows

I love stuffed animals and having shoes of every color would come in handy dont you think?

Colors of the rainbow, orange, pink, red, blue

Match the feelings that ring so true

Containing the things we hold inside

The colors shine thru so we cant hide

Look at the beauty thats so plain to see

All colors are beautiful to me

Would have to have shades to match the shoes

Would be cool for halloween right?

Stopping in...waving hello!

Has anyone noticed I changed my background? Its pretty obvious. Just thought I'd asked. I also changed my books on the corner after I dont know how long. Monday I went to the library to take back those books from 2 weeks ago and I got two more. "You've been warned", By: James Patterson and "Odd Thomas" by: Dean Koontz. Im enjoying both of them. Those are the good things. Right now, Im pmsing, and I've been moody all week..not constantly but you know...mood swinging and all that jazz, lol. See how I just went from so so to silly..ok, I think you get it now, anyway..just thought I'd drop in..say hello to anyone who might happen to stop by my little space here. And if you should happen to pop in for whatever reason, you should stop in more often, you never know, you might like it. While your at it wave, or say hello...you might like that too. I know I would. But I'm pushing the time. I might be back later today...dont know, but I definately will be back tomorrow tho, to do that shoot out thingy. Have a nice day everyone.

Lost

why cant I feel you here when I need you the most
feeling like Im loosing it and I need a friend
someone to talk to but noones around
trying hard to smile but all I can manage is a smile
not sure what to do or what to say
not sure if it would matter either way
all I know is that I want things to be better
I would like to be done with this stormy weather

Friday's Shoot-Out: Metal

My first time at doing a Fridays Shoot-Out. I know mine is different than most entries but Im really into my writing at the moment so I just cant help myself. So, I have two different takes on the word "Metal". The first, a poem of a weird obsession with the love of metal. And 2nd is a short shory of someones hate for metal because of tragic events as a child.

Metal in my hand

The metal in my hand feels so good, cold

Like the ice in my mouth, very bold

So much heavier, smooth to touch

Didn't realize I'd love it so much

This obsession with metal things

No need for gold or diamond rings

I love how it shines, yes its true

I dont know what I should do

Except to seek out the object of my obsession

Until it becomes my posession

I really dont care that noone understands

My love for the metal in my hand

Metal Bars

When walking down the street one night, I froze dead in my tracks. Why was this happening to me. Why couldn't I ever escape this nightmare. There across the road were metal bars. Trying hard to control my breathing, I clutched at my throat. I couldn't have a panic attack here, not now. Gathering all the strength I could find I took off down the street, not sure what direction I was going because I could barely see. My eyes, blurred with the tears filling up and running over. I ran until my legs burned. Legs shaking, feeling as if they were going to crumble beneath me, I ran in to a brick wall. Looking up, I realized I had run into a apartment complex. My back against the brick wall, my body slid down slowly until I sat down hard on the ground. Eyes still glazed over, my mind flashes back to those years long ago as a child. My mother and father had divorced, and we were living with her new friend. When she was away at work, he'd lock me up in a room down stairs with metal bars. Trapped there all day until my mother was on her way home. He'd always ask her to call to let him know when she was on her way home. I knew he did this so he would have time to let me out. I tryed to tell her one night when he was asleep. My mom and I were cuddled on the sofa watching a movie. She didn't believe me. She yelled at me and made me go to bed early. What was worse was that she told him what I had said and he punished me for it. He had slapped me hard across the face and punched me in the stomach. I didn't get my food bowl that day, nor my water dish. Blinking my eyes and shaking my head, I force the memories from my thoughts. Most days its as if it never happened. I can almost forget that those horrible days even existed. Until Im rudely awakened by the site of metal bars and Im taken back to those achingly sick memories that I now realize will forever haunt me. I grab my purse that had slipped from my hand and dig inside until I feel my cell phone. Flipping it open, I dial my best friends number.

"Hello".

"Maria, I need you to come get me."

"Ok, where are you?"

"Pine Ridge Aparments".

"How'd you get over there?"

"I'll explain later, just please come get me before I freak out anymore than I already have."

"Ok, Im on my way."

"Maria, one more thing."

"Yeah, what is it."

"Do you best to avoid going down Clinton Road."

"Ok, but whats on Clinton Road?

"Metal bars."

If you enjoyed this short story check out my "Twisted Stories" journal. http://twisted-short-stories.blogspot.com/