Friday, July 31, 2009

Firdays Shoot-Out: Outdoor Foods

I love food..maybe a bit too much. And when I think of out door foods, I always think of a cook out. And you can have a cook out with out a good burger. And I love me some bbq ribs!

And you gotta have some hot dogs..I know a hot dog was in the first picture but at that time the burger was having its time in the spot I thought this weeks assignment was cool.

Monday, July 27, 2009


Well, I've been crying on and off today so..this poem is dedicated to those tears I cries.

I got issues
bring out the tissues
here comes the tears
pour out my fears
drain from my eyes
like water from the skies
feel all my pain
drip drop like rain
apon my cheek
my heart it weeps
from all the strain
feeling insane
conscious of it all
bracing myself for the fall

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Giving up

Im sitting here feeling pretty worthless right now. Im trying to figure out how the supposedly simple things in my life always blow up into big issues. My brother called me from work, asked me to ask our dad if he could pick him up something from chic-fila for dinner because by the time he got off work the place would be closed. Well being the kind of person he is he didn't want to do it so he tells me he wants me to go in and get it. I told him no Im not going, my brother asked him to go. So my mom volunteers to go. She goes to get the food and on her way out she trips and falls, scraps her knee and her chin. Do you know that man comes home and blames me. Says its my fault that happened to her. Now how is that my fault? I'm really tired of everybody blaming everything on me. So my mom tells her mom (we call her granny) what happened. Then granny tells her that she needs to go to the emergency room. So..thats where she is right now. This right here, is why I never write in my journal anymore. I never have anything good to write about anymore. Seems like things are always happening to try to bring me down, and you know what..its working. I really am wondering why I even bother. So close to giving up. I dont know why Im even here. Would anybody care if tomorrow I just disappeared? And I know people are probably thinking, its nothing to get this worked up about but this is just one more thing on top of everything thats been going on the last two months and I really dont think I can take anymore. Im beginning to not want to even get up anymore. Whats the point? Im just about ready to give up.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday's Shoot-Out: Reflections

I dont want to look in the mirror
I dont want to see
My own reflection starring back at me
I dont want to look, just want to hide
and get away from the pain inside
I dont need to see, I dont wanna know
Just need to get out, I just want to go
Away from my reflection, away from these eyes
Away from the torn soul, drowned by your many lies
Cant trust these eyes, cant trust this face
Wishing I could be some other place
Gotta get away from the glare
away from the constant stare
So I cant look in the mirror
Because I dont want to see
My own reflection
Starring back at me

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Fairy Tale

I want to dream about the house with the white picket fence
That I'll share with my prince
who rode in on that white horse and saved me
isnt that how fairy tales say its suppose to be
but I stopped dreaming of that long ago
the more you live, the more you know
The things you thought you wanted, you dont anymore
dreams were broken, you closed the door
No more making wishes, they dont come true
Believe me, they never do
Not for me anyway
sad to say
But along those broken wishes and dreams
I still hope and pray no matter how hopeless it seems
Even tho there are no fairy tales, I still hope that there will be
Somewhere in life, a happily ever after for me

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Why cant I be normal, why must it be so hard for me
why must I suffer and feel the way I feel
Why cant I just be happy, why cant I be
Why must my nightmares always seem so real
Why do I feel like Im going insane

Monday, July 20, 2009

Plugging my on Blog

I've been posting alot in my most recently made blog. Noone seems to be Im not sure if people even know about it so I thought that maybe I'd put it out there. If you like to know about new tv shows, books and movies you should definately check it out.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Worth It

I just want to lay in the the water

let the cool waves wash over me

allowing me to forget everything

except what feels good, and right

just want to listen to the breeze

and feel it on my skin

allowing me to remember that its still worth it

to keep going, to hang on

begging me to see that its ok, to keep waiting

because one day I'll finally see

what all the waiting was for

and hopefully I will be able to say

It was worth it

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Fridays Shoot-Out: Yard Objects

I liked this assigment alot because I always love to see yard objects, decorations or oranments on people lawns or in their yard. I wish I could have stuff like this in our yard but I wouldn't dare leave anything worth taking in my yard because someone would only steal it. So..I have to live vicariously thru other peoples decorations. This is only regular stuff, people go all out for the holidays. Sometimes the amount of stuff you see in peoples yards, seems like they are competing with the folks next door. ya go.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Fridays Shoot-Out: Textures

Im a little late cuz I got stuck playing this game but..yeah

Wrap me inside your cloth

bind my body with silk

Just let the texture spread

and blend with my skin

soft, smooth and sexy like satin

Like tying a bow around you

and presenting yourself as a gift

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


It hurts deep inside to have this weak skin
that breaks at the slightest touch within
any kind of push or struggle tears away
at the core and makes it hard to make it thru the day
wondering when you'll ever be normal inside
not constantly wanting to hide from the world
like a scared little girl
hiding under the bed from a monsterous demon
that leaves you panting and screaming
on the edge of anxiety, deep in fight
making it difficult to sleep thru the night
but it hurts and it burns and its draining me
why, does it have to be

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Better Late than never right?

Well I know Im late but thought I'd drop in to say I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. I didn't do much today. Played a game, watched a movie, read a book..thats about it, lol. I watched the movie "Pulse", its the third time ive seen it but I hadnt watched it in awhile. Since I didn't get a movie from netflix because of the holiday, I watched that.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Friday's Shoot Out-Celebrate Life

Well, here in Macon, GA we celebrate the Cherry Blossoms. Aren't they pretty!
They have a all week thing down town, celebrating, doing different things, like games, concerts, food, drinks, they even give out icecream, but I never get the chance to go get any cuz Im always at work at the time and they stop giving away icecream at 12 I think..or is it 1, heck I dont know but I never get any. At the end of the week they have a street party.

We also celebrate the Georgia State Fair.

With all the wind from the rides its always so much colder at night.

On the last day of the street party they have fire works at night.

Tomorrow being the 4th of July Im sure there will be lots of fireworks. I sometimes like to watch them at home, I can see them from my house.

Some people like to celebrate by wearing funny looking hats. I dont but some people do.

And whats a celebration without a few balloons.

And ice cream

And cake too! Im not sure how I'll be celebrating tomorrow of if I even will. Not sure what celebrating means to me anymore really...but these are some of the things I feel celebrating must be like. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Needed you know or may not know, I dont really have any friends here and noone to really talk to. If theres anyone out there who wouldn't mind chatting with me thru emails sometimes let me know. My email address is: I need someone to talk to.